26-02-2002 - 00:24
on the way back from getting coffee today with ryan, it started snowing. large fluffy quarter sized hypnotic plobs of snow. it reminded me of the flying through space screen-saver...oh so hypnotic...
well, i dressed up today a bit. sometimes dressing nicer can change moods.
well, i think i have gathered my sanity. i deleted one of the entries i left last night/this morning. i think that i am in a better state of mind now.
so, i've been in a creepy surreal mood all day long. i didn't really get any sleep, so i think that that adds to it. anyways, i think that my father realized that he'd left the police reports about my cousin's death in a fairly open place. sometime during the course of the day he moved them. i think he knows i read everything...he was overly nice to me today. stupid people with their stupid guns. i wonder how my family will act this easter. usually my family gets together and eats food and has fun, but when it's the year anniversary of someone's death, i think things will likely be different.
i think that reading the report kind of places me in an oddly emotional state today. i don't really like that.
well, on the good news side...the job i applied for is half-way through my background investigation. i also have another interview in ann arbor on wed. my father has also made an unheard of recovery. he actually starts work again next week. my grandmother is also doing quite well. her chemo has stopped for the next three weeks and will then resume, but it's good for her to have a break.
decisions i've made today:
1. i think i am going to hook up my old apple II gs again and run a unix os on it. sounds like an interesting project.
2. i am going to regulate my coffee intake. after cutting down for a while, it's not likely good to jump back into my old coffee schedule.
3. i will stop analyzing things to the point of confusion.
"so long my friend, don't say goodbye. just give me one last kiss, beneath this glowing sky. we'll go walking through the park, and hang out in the rain. tell a joke and watch me smile as we drink away the day..."