09-08-2002 - 04:32
bah. i don't want to go to work tomorrow/today. i don't want to sleep. i just want to zone out.
"you walk like you're i a daze. unresponsive eyes in a distant gaze...like all the good times we've thrown away...and the memory leaves a bitter taste. tumble like the leaves, yeah, we must fly on the autum breeze. destructive love is all we have. destructive love is all i am..." -ash
i am not happy tonight. i am not sad tonight. i am nothing and everything tonight. i am strange tonight. i am strange every night.
i am so tired that i can't sleep at all. my dreams haunt me. i am rambling.
my eyes are numb. there is no pain. rather only an odd feeling of knowing that sleep is not coming soon.
is it really odd for people to sleep in the same bed who are not dating or somehow romantically/relatedly involved? i don't even remember my dreams the night i stayed at john's. it kind of makes me miss andy staying the night all of the time. i think that that was a perfect situation. having a friend come over every night. watch anime. fall asleep. hmmmm...i really am odd.
"there's time when i want something more, someone more like me. there's times when this dress rehearsal seems incomplete...but, you see the colors in me like no one else...and behind your dark glasses, you're...you're something else. you're really lovely...underneath it all. you want to love me...underneath it all. i'm really lucky...underneath it all. you're really lovely. you know some real bad tricks and you need some discipline...but, lately you're been trying real hard and giving me your best...and, you give me the most gorgeous sleep that i've ever had...and when it's really bad, i guess it's not that bad..." -no doubt