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03-03-2003 - 00:47

"we are here. and everything that is past is prologue to this." -swingers

ok. almost 2 years ago, on good friday...which just happened to be on the 13th...steven was shot. he ultimately bleed to death. accidental shooting (or so i've been told) and his stupid friends were too afraid of getting in trouble, that they didn't take him to the hospital for hours.

last night my uncle tried to kill himself. steven was my cousin. do family problems wait for you to be down just to hit you even more?

grandmother has mutiple advanced forms of cancer. uncle tried to kill himself. what's the encore?

as a generally happy person, i feel that i am doing fairly well with what life has presented me with lately. but, i'm not really sure how much more i can take and still have faith in happily ever after.

other news: ryan, jay and i went out last night. had some food. (really bad soup). drinks. went to the mall. i bought a new watch. my first new watch in 10 years. i still love my old one, but i can't get it near water anymore (or it fogs up for about a day and a half). my new watch is a guys watch (like my old one). it's stainless steel. fossil brand. black face. japanese numerals. glow in the dark hands. a faint dragon in the center. digital seconds flash large on the face in japanese numerals. from there we went to get dessert and more drinks. we had a cute waiter. we all left him our numbers expecting him to never call. then we went to del rio. i love that place. more drinks. ended up talking to a guy who was sitting next to us at the bar. before we left, we exchanged numbers...mostly because he didn't seem freaked out with my question of the night. (what was the technical term for the bends/decompression sickness). after del rio's, we went to the out bar for a bit. it was crowded and we ended up leaving after not much time. hit taco bell. went home.

today i really didn't do much of anything. cleaned a bit. did laundry. went grocery shopping. it's really odd, but i love grocery shopping. it's calming. much like driving with a destination in mind, but no time restraints.

tomorrow i think i'm going to see lotr. maybe i'll ask erik...the guy from the bar. my weird swingers thing...i wait 2 days to call a guy if i get his number. i hope that he calls me, but if he doesn't, i'll give him a call tomorrow. erik. graduated 2 years ago from college. doesn't know the technical name for the bends. tall. dark hair. knit cap. smokes. black frame glasses.

cut my toungue today. the bottom part. it was attacked by part of a jawbreaker.

i've just been noticing lately that i am letting life pass me by.

i'm watching the show fast lane right now. i love the way the guy with the long hair dresses. great cars. the guy with the long hair is hot (would be hotter with black hair).

not much else to say.

i'm still mad that unplugging my dvd player and shaking it upside down didn't work for fixing it either. i've tried shaking it upright and upside down. i've tried different cables. different locations (tried it on ryan's television). i've tried tapping it. s(ch)macking it. tipping it. to to avail. grrrr...

anyways. that's all for now.


"dear lover, do you remember? the sound of your laughter and demise. and that was all i need to fall in love. this matter, it's something bigger than anything ever graced my heart. and that was all i could fall in love...with you. and i can't start this now. did you find some happiness with me? now i know the way true love should be. dear lover, do you remember? the beats of my heart that i gave to you. and that was all i need to fall in love. it shattered. slipped through my fingers. floated down safely into your hands. and that was all. i could fall in love...with you. i can't stall this now. ooh ooh ooh. did you find some happiness with me? yea yea yea. yea yea yea yea." -foo fighters



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