22-04-2003 - 05:23
my pillow smells like nick. it's comforting. and it will all be washed away when i do laundy tomorrow.
yesterday was easter. nick came over and hung out until a little before 6am. he came over around 7pm. i was in a weird mood after spending easter in the hospital. my grandmother was rushed to the hospital the other day, hence the lack of updates.
nick makes me forget. forget that i have work the next day. forget that my grandmother is so ill. forget that my sister is ruining her life.
i have the next 2 days off of work. tomorrow i'm going to the hospital again to visit my grandmother.
i'm currently watching some movie in spanish right now. barely following it. too distracted.
i feel worn out right now. it just seems like everytime i start to get back to normal, something drastic happens.
insomnia is back. i seem to have it worse when i sleep alone. is that odd? most people can't sleep because of other people. i can't sleep with out someone.
i'm hungry, but i don't want to get up. i'm tired, but i don't want to sleep. my neck is sore...i think i had my vest adjusted wrong today...or maybe it was the handcuffs digging into my back when i was sitting earlier. back of my knuckle hurts. i must have cut it on something. toe is bleeding...smashed it on the door in the bathroom. i am litterally falling apart.
tomorrow will be better.
"under the stars each night, i wonder do stairs go there? i'm lonely driving behind the wheel, can't get no where. i can't seem to get it right. i'm only just a man of steel. is there a place? and under the stars tonight, i wonder if someone cares. i'm lonely, that's the way i feel. can't feel no stairs. i've gotten a real ad-heist. i'm only just a man of steel...there is a place..." -frank black