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02-05-2003 - 03:07

so, i talked to my mother tonight on the phone. i found out that she may have had a mild heart attack this morning. she's going in for test in the morning.

welcome to my life. every time things start to go bad, expect 3 more things to go wrong at the same time.

i caught the last 30 seconds or so of one of the new radiohead songs on the radio today while driving around at work.

i just feel like standing outside in the rain and screaming right now. instead i've chose to drink a glass of wine (white 'cause it was already open) and watch really really bad television.

i was thinking of how great it would be to be famous. if you're famous, you get to hang out with famous people. you get to date famous people. you then become more famous. i now just have to figure out how to become famous.

i am relieved to finally be done with my eight day work week. i almost wanted to do something tonight as my first night off, but i just decided to say in and lounge.

still having a party on friday. not tomorrow friday, but the 9th.


good and evil. black and white. saints and sinners. nothing can be only one way. even with everything gong on bad, there is always good. if my mother had a mild heart attack, at least the problem was caught before she had a serious full blown heart attack. even though my grandmother was in the hospital recently, it made her want to fight more and she's going through chemo again. maybe even when christina goes to jail, she will learn from it.

there's this guy at work who was telling troy today that i always look like i'm going to a prom or something. makes me wonder since he's only ever seen me in my work uniform. perhaps he doesn't get out much. or, maybe proms have changed and people have handcuffs as accessories.


anyways, i need to do a ton of things tomorrow. some banking. some mothers day shopping. buy some new fabric for my car ceiling lining. see if christina is visiting. clean. grocery shop.

my brain is empty now so i'll end here.

"waking in this state, the world seems strange to me. how can something so beautiful shing on something so dreadful?" -pulse ultra



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