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04-06-2003 - 03:19

i am drinking a strawberry white russian right now. and wallowing. i am dissapointed that i no longer have a date for dawn's wedding. nick backed out only a few days before we we're supposed to go. we hadn't talked in a week, and i called him to see if he was still going, and he told me that he couldn't. that he had to work on saturday. i told him that the reception isn't till 6 and he gets out a little after 3. but he said that he might be too tired. how lame. he didn't even have enough decency to inform me that he wasn't going to come. so, i guess we're no longer "dating". at least not dating wise anymore.

i am annoyed by my lack of dating luck.

guys keep asking me out, and a couple have even offered to go to the reception with me, but not any of the guys i'm even slightly interested in.

it's cold over here. frost on the cars again. cold in june. it doesn't make any sense.

i talked to my mother tonight. christina is taking one of the new guys she's dating to the reception. my mother asked me why nothing ever seems to work out for me. it's put me in a slight funk. i know a lot of things don't work out for me...such as but, so many things do work out for me. such as surviving near drowning, car fires, car accidents, and weird timing.

now i'm sitting on my bed (also known as a futon mattress sitting on the floor) watching adult swim on cartoon network (got to love anime) and drinking (a strawberry white russian.)

i was watching inu yasha today/night. i really need to start buying those episodes.

there's nothing on television right now.

insence burning.

i think that the next guy i date will have to be brilliant and charming and have black hair. he'll have to like either nin or radiohead. he'll have to like wine. he'll have to love art, and not mind sitting around the apartment drinking wine and watching the cartoon network or the history channel. i want to date a guy who reads. someone i can curl up with and read books with.

"bokura wa onaji sekai wo. oyogi-tsudzukete're. tagai no negai e. todoku i made. minna onaji fuan kakaete. sasaeaeru yo. tachidomaru shunkan ni. mitsumete're. kono basho ne iru." -inu yasha lyrics

"we keep swimming the same world. until the day we reach our dreams. all of us bear the same worries. when you stop and look, i'll be right here, gazing at you." -inu yasha lyrics



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