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05-12-2003 - 03:11

it's a bit cold tonight...both inside and out. i'm fairly warm, just not my feet. they always seem to be a bit cold...

i'm having one of those don't want to go out but don't want to be alone nights.

it doesn't seem like christmas is approaching. i know it's early, but i've not even thought about what gifts i'm going to get for people.

i'm completely not tired right now. and the thing is...i really don't want to sleep right now. cable's out and i'm watching movies. i'm sure i'll be uber tired in the "morning", but that's later.

oh...joe started emailing me again. after almost a year. want's to hang out or something. i'm thinking that that's not going to happen. when i was hanging out with him, i thought he was a nice i don't. i think that he tells people things because he thinks that that's what they want to hear...and sometimes it is. but, i think he's a tad too "fake" for me. oh well.

random things i'm thinking of...i want a pair of black leather driving gloves like in the movie "the transporter". i still want to work for the f.b.i. as soon as i get a chance. i remember when i was dating ben and we ended up dancing in the middle of the aisle in meijers when a song we both liked came on. i was thinking that i still need to eventually change the fuel filter on my fiero. i am in a rather odd mood that i can't seem to put into words. i'm thinking of so much i can't really think. i remember when my sister first tried to start up my car back in high school and forgot to put it in neutral like i told her and almost lunged the car into my parents house. i want to go swimming in the ocean. i can only think of 2 times i've been swimming in the past few years...naked off the coast of wales and at cory's bachelor party. i wonder what the weather's going to be like when i wake up. i wonder if i'll be able to drive the fiero into work or not. the fiero doesn't like to be driven when it's really windy...especially not on m-14 where there's nothing to block the wind (buildings, large forests, etc.). today was the first day i'd driven it to work in about 2 weeks. there's nothing quite like the feeling of shifting into gear and flying down the on, window cracked, cool air circulating. i love driving my car. automatics are so boring. they seem to make driving a chore when it can be really fun. there's just a certain feeling of being alive that i get from driving a stick that one just can't get from an automatic. i've even converted james. he wasn't going to buy a manual until he heard me talking about how much i love my car. car...poor thing deserves better. i take care of it, but not as well as i should...and it's been very very good to me. 8 years. 1 alternator, 1 set of ignitions cables, 1 magnetic oil plug, a few new bolts and screws, 1 new battery, soon to be 1 new fuel filter and 1 new pcv valve, a few new brake pads, 2 new headlights (at different times) and that's it. and the most expensive replacement was the alternator at about $80. the rest averages about $10 an item. not bad for a car that was under $3,000. anyways...

"blue moon, you saw me standing alone...without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own. blue moon, you knew just what i was there heard me saying a prayer for, someone i really could care for. blue moon, you saw me standing alone...without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own. blue moon...without a love of my own." -cowboy junkies version



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