18-12-2003 - 05:13
well. my one and only fish died after almost exactly a year. (sad, but not bad for a half priced meijers fish.) went to the dentist today. no cavities, but i need four fillings. one for a chipped tooth and three to prevent cavities. appearently i have little enamel on my teeth (which i've known) and they want to drill and fill some of my teeth where the enamel isn't smooth. something about how nothing could have prevented it and the way the enamel forms is set at childhood. the front one they're going to fill just because i have a triangle shaped chip missing from it. no one notices it even though it's on my bottom front tooth, but i can feel it with my tongue. my sister was sentenced today. her judge was ill and didn't come in, but she lucked out and got a visiting judge. only 6 days of jail (and she can serve them on the weekends) and 2 years of probation. lost my rhinestone bracelet hopefully at the dentists office.
so, i have a new mobile. this one appears to work. hopefully it will work.
i did some more holiday shopping today. i don't really like shopping (excluding grocery shopping which i love). i especially do not like shopping around the holidays. people are mean, nasty, and drive poorly.
oh. i've also had a bunch of guys ask me out lately. i'm thinking that i might actually go out on some dates. that would make my mother happy and well, i don't think anything will happen with the guy i kind of like right now. i just find it kind of funny that i complain about not doing things, but then i keep turning down things to do. i just don't like to go out on "dates" with guys that i know i'm not interested in dating. my mother thinks i should just go out and have guys pay for me, but that just seems kind of fake to me. i don't know. guess i'm just rambling right now.
everything's been a tad off today. i didn't sleep last night/this morning till sometime after 7:30am. then i was up before 10am when my parents called to tell me about my sister. and for some odd reason (really odd since i usually eat all the time), i just forgot to eat today. i didn't eat until about 8pm. blood sugar is completely off. sleep pattern is completely off. took a nap from about midnight till 2am. then forced myself to wake up and eat again. now i'm fine. tired, but everything feels better now.
visited with my grandparents today. my grandmother was so happy that her orchid she bought in feb. is blossoming again. she says that she is like the orchid. the orchid wasn't doing too well for a bit there and now it's doing good. she says that the orchid not doing well is like her having cancer...but since the orchid is coming back to life, she says it gives her hope. she said that she knows that she's going to live another year. i'm just happy to know that she's starting to want to live again. i can't even imagine how difficult it must be wake up every morning and not know if your going to feel well enough to get out of bed. but, she seems to be doing better right now. she's been all up and about for the past few days.
oh. i almost forgot. i somehow managed to schwack myself with a metal coat hanger yesterday. just missed my left eye. so, now i have a circular cut a half inch from the corner of my eye. i'm just glad it missed my eye. i'm all about keeping my eyesight.
"hey, where did it go? everything we fought for and everything you'd made. maybe we were just starting, but i still believe there are only a few things that really belong to make me who i am. who i was. who i wanna be. who i wanna be. hey, where have i gone? i used to be the one looking for a hero in some far off place. blindly ever forward. never knowing all along the truth was right here in my own song." -bouncing souls