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15-04-2004 - 02:41

today was a great day. at work i got to drive around all day with the windows down and the radio on. good music the whole day.

right now my stomach's a bit upset. as i've replaced my blood with mt.dew and coffee...that combined with a million or so cadbury eggs...bleah. i think i'm going to eat something soon to fix all of that.

i've not heard from takkun since he left. i assume he made it home ok. i left a message on his phone today, but he hasn't called back.

tomorrow night (thrusday) a bunch of us are going out to frasiers after work. likely, once again, peggy and i will take over the musical selections. i just have to remember to bring quarters this time.

for the first time in a long time, i'm paranoid. not really paranoid...just worried. you spill your heart out to someone and then things are great the next day, but then you don't hear from them for a few days after...this is why i don't date people that i've been friends with for years. all i really want is reassurance. just to know that no matter what happens, we'll still be friends.

grrr....i'm really hungry right now, but i don't want any of the food i have. chinese sounds good right now...that or taco bell.

split ends. some. bruises on my left knee. two. i really wonder if i should cut my hair.

this friday's pay cheque will be the first one since my student loan was paid off. i'm tired but can't sleep tonight. i think that's why i'm more random than usual. it's a bit cold out tonight. stars are bright. i'm lounging in a tank top and a thrift shop slip. looking at rhinestones and action figures on ebay. i'm watching city confidential. i've seen this episode many times before. i'd put in some of my new anime, but i'm oddly just not in the mood for it right now.

all i really want to do right now is curl up in bed next to takkun and fall asleep listening to music. scent of incense in the air. blankets pulled up tight. door shut, blocking out the outside world. watching the reflection of the light off the water on the ceiling of my bedroom. simple things are sometimes the most enjoyable.

my grandmother is doing well right now. as well as she can. i'm avoiding talking about her lately. if i think about things too much i'm afraid i might cry. it's ok when i see her or talk about her, but when i really think about things...sadness sets in.

back to something happy. today was great. sun shining. i love driving with my hair blowing in the breeze through the windows. singing along to the radio. once again...sometimes simple things are the most enjoyable. i also bought some new action figures...flcl ones from ebay last night. impulse buy. i had to have them. well, i think it's time for me to find something to eat and get ready for bed. so sleepy...nothing but lovely dreams tonight. maybe i'll fall asleep listening to deftones again. or maybe radiohead...

"i'm not a perfect person. there's many things i wish i didn't do. but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you. and so i have to say before i go. that i just want you to know. i've found a reason for me. to change who i used to be. a reason to start over new. and that reason is you....i've found a reason for me. to change who i used to be. a reason to start over new. and the reason is you. i've found a reason to show. a side of me you didn't know. a reason for all that i do. and the reason is you." -hoobastank



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