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16-04-2004 - 03:56

another amazing day. outside again. driving around in great weather with good music on all day. free coffee. free pizza. then a bunch of us went out to frasiers after work. free beer and snacks. good times for all.

...the only down side to today was that once again, i've not heard from takkun. it's times like these that a phone call would be appreciated. i'm left to wonder about his interest or lack there of. i think that he's the only person that can make me feel insecure. i'm not sure if that's good or bad. it's a bit scary to care what someone thinks. insecure and scary...good words for all of this. both are things that are difficult to admit, but need to be stated.

i scuffed up my nails today. actually peeled off part of my thumb nail today at work. evil work...

oh. something rather odd...last night before bed, i decided that fish sticks would be yummy. turn the oven on, pop the food in. everything was fine for the first 5 min (and that was after the oven had heated up completely). then i open the oven to check on the status of my snack and a poof of grey smoke emerges from the oven. i had no idea and still do not have one about what caused the random smoke cloud. needless to say, the smoke alarms went off...all at about 4am. i felt bad 'cause it woke ryan up and he had to work this morning. today i couldn't find anything that could have caused it. usually if food burns, the smoke is black. grey smoke tends to be from steam. i couldn't think of anything that could have caused it. now i'm afraid to use the oven. i'll have to try it again during the day with the doors open and such. see what happens...

i wonder if takkun knows the effect his not calling has on me right now. a vulnerable moment. something i'm not used to.

i think i'm going to sleep early tonight. i'm not tired, but my eyes are. they don't seem to want to stay open. guess that means that i'll end up curled up in bed with my eyes shut thinking too much.

foot cramps. both feet. blah.

there's so much i have to do when i wake up. tons and tons and tons of things...

"it's a beautiful day outside. time's passing you by. come on out. don't just sit there catatonic. i'm feeling supersonic. a warm wind is sweeping by. the sun's full in the sky. and there's no way of knowing, no way to know...know ho long it'll last. no way of knowing, no way to know...know how long it'll last..." -gandharvas



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