07-07-2004 - 03:09
ryan and i saw the spiderman 2 movie tonight after i got home from class and he got back from work. i really liked it. i guess it's one of those things that kind of gives me hope.
my cable is still out. i was supposed to have it all up and running on friday. but no. they keep saying it's fine and i keep telling them that i have yet to receive my cable programming. today they finally put in a work order for it.
not much to say tonight.
i haven't been sleeping much. kind of weird. strange thing happened this morning. the maintenance guy came over at around 9am to fix my fridge. i had called on friday for a maintenance emergency as my fridge was leaking large amounts of water. guy already fixed it that day. (a different guy). oh well.
ah. things going on. so much yet it feels like i'm standing still. keep seeing lightening out of my window.
it's raining out. steady rain. i love the sound of rain. the sound of rain at night always sounds the best when you're lying in bed next to someone trying to fall asleep with music on in the background, and knowing you can sleep in the next morning. too bad things like that rarely happen to me lately.
i was thinking...the last person i kissed was takkun. and that was many many moons ago. the last guy i dated was nick. and that was over a year ago. the last guy i dated and traveled with was kyle. and that was years ago. i was also thinking that i've never had an "adult" relationship. my dating relationships always make me think high school. lots of drinking and watching movies. no adult dates like movies and dinner. it's odd seeing people more grown up than myself who are much younger. i also find that most girls my age that i talk to really have quite low standards. ' tis sad. my sister is one of those girls. people should never just settle.
perfect guy right now. tall. thin. black hair. green eyes. british accent. owns a motorcycle (sport bike). loves anime. college grad with a degree in some sort of science or computers. love traveling. not mind action figures. there's more, but i can't be bothered to go on.
i did realize tonight that even with my blinds closed, people can see in my bedroom. note to self: do not walk around naked unless i first put up curtains of some sort.
"hope dangles on a string. like slow spinning redemption. winding in and winding out. the shine of which has caught my eye and roped me in. so mesmerizing. so hypnotizing. i am captivated. i am vindicated. i am selfish. i am wrong. i am right. i swear i'm right. i swear i knew it all along. and i am flawed. but i am cleaning up so well. i am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself. so clear. like the diamond in your ring. cut to mirror your intentions. oversized and overwhelmed. the shine of which has caught my eye and rendered me so isolated, so motivated. i am certain now that...i am vindicated. i am selfish. i am wrong. i am right. i swear i'm right. i swear i knew it all along. so turn up the corners of your lips. part them and feel my finger tips. trace the moment, fall forever. defense is paper thin. just one touch and i'd be in too deep now to ever swim against the current. so let me slip away. so let me slip against the current and let me slip away. i am vindicated. i am selfish. i am wrong. i am right. i swear i'm right. i swear i knew it all along. slight hope. it dangles on a string. like slow spinning redemption..." -dashboard confessional