27-0802004 - 03:27
i finished ai yori aoshi today. i still have scryed to watch.
i'm having an icky day today. frowy hair. looking tired. evil work meeting. having to come in early. people painting my door maroon at 8 in the morning. yeah. i now have a maroon door. it was weird/akward getting ready for work with my front door propped wide open. i did manage to scare the maintenance people though. i happen to have a life sized indiana jones cardboard stand-up. i strategically (most likely spelled wrong) placed indy in my hallway so he'd be the first thing anyone opening the door would see. indy greeting them with a whip. yeah...i heard the guy actually make a "yelp" noise when he opened my front door this morning.
i'm currently drinking tea. really good tea.
i did almost cry today. i found out that my grandmother is going to have to go back to the injectable chemo. it's so sad. she never felt as good on that chemo as she did on the chemo pill. i hope that things work out. i worry that they're switching her chemo because the old stuff wasn't working as well. she hasn't said anything to me about it yet. we're also worried that my grandfather's eye problem might be diabetes related.
i had a great day until hearing that. even though it was so hot and sticky that i thought i'd melt. driving with the windows down. smiling all day. change of subject.
well, bily called and left a message on my machine. said something about how he was sorry for being selfish and such. eh. i still think that with the lack of eatting meat and lack of drinking, it's all just a turn off.
i've decided that i need to find someone to travel with. one of the things i really want to do is go to japan in the spring during the sakura festival. i'd like to wear a kimono and walk through the trees with someone.
oh. i'd also like to find a cute date to take me to see "hero". why can't more guys be cool? guys seem to ask me to movies that they think girls would like. i don't happen to be interested in a lot of the chick flicks. but a guy asking me to a martial arts movie...good times.
i went to bed late last night. was up at 8am. and i'm not tired enough to sleep yet. i work tomorrow from 2:30-10:30PM and then come in the next day for the start of our 12 hour work schedule at 6PM. ick.
my apartment smells like paint. i also think i turned the ac up too much. i'm freezing, but too lazy to get out of bed and do something about it. guess that's about it for now.
"something isn't right. i can feel it again...feel it again. this isn't the first time that you left me waiting. sad excuses and false hopes high. i saw this coming still i don't know why i let you in. i knew it all along. you're so predictable. i knew something would go wrong. so you don't have to call. or say anything at all. so predictable. so take your empty words, your broken promises, and all the time you stole 'cause i am done with this. i can give it away...give it away. i'm doing everything i should've. and now i'm making a change. i'm living the day. i'm giving back what you gave me. i don't need anything. i knew it all along. so predictable. i knew something would go wrong. so you don't have to call. or say anything at all. so predictable. everywhere i go. everyone i meet. every time i try to fall in love. they all want to know why i'm so broken. why i'm so cold. why i'm so hard inside. why am i scared? what am i afraid of? i don't even know. this story's never had an end. i've been waiting. i've been searching. i've been hoping. i've been dreaming you would come back. but i know the ending of this story. you're never coming back. never...never...never...never...i knew it all along. you're so predictable. i knew something would go wrong. so you don't have to call. or say anything at all. so predictable. everywhere i go for the rest of my live. everyone that i love. everyone i care about. they're all gonna wanna know what's wrong with me. and i know what it is. i'm ending this right now." -good charlotte
