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02-12-2004 - 10:47

it's funny how a slipknot song can sound a lot like a hayden song. two bands just about as far removed from each other as they can be...

i was in an odd mood yesterday. always in an odd mood when i should be doing school work but find myself looking for any reason not to do any of it. my excuse yesterday was that i 4.0-ed my midterm. the lesson learned from that is if you put enough jumbled information're likely to have hit desired answer somewhere in there.

i've not felt quite right for just over two days now. i'm not sure why. i think it may be my lack of proper eatting. that or my caffiene overdose the other day. think i had a million and a half cups of coffee, tea, and mt. dew.

notice how you don't realize how much you need/want something till you have it and it's taken away? i'm a bit pissed at jeff. if i'd not napped at jay's curled up next to him, i'd be happy and content sleeping alone. maybe this is a sign that i need to date someone again. that and my mother nagging me about being single pretty much every day. things seemed to be working out well with one guy a while back (don't think i mentioned him in here), but that potential situation has since faded.

oh. something kind of funny. i'm not sure why, but for the past few months i've been on this "i'd like a necklace with a piece of moldavite". then i'm watching some movie last night with jason lee in it and he gives the girl in the movie a ring with a chunk of meteorite chunk in it. as i'm typing this i realize what an odd tangent this is, but it just made me think that i wasn't the only one with weird things they find interesting.

another lesson i learned recently. tea can in fact mold. i left a half filled cup on my window sill two days ago and just couldn't remember where i left it. well, last night i found it. icky.

right now it's so early i don't know what to do with myself. i went to sleep at about 6am and woke up at about 8:45am when my mother called. i still haven't gotten out of bed, but i'm just not able to go back to sleep.

feck. i'm starving and thirsty. soon i'm going to have to actually get out of bed.

i think it's raining out. oddly, my blinds are closed. i closed them two days ago (hey...that's how that tea cup got up there...) and i just haven't opened them since.

i have also discovered something recently. appearently the cues i give off show that i appearently flirt with a lot of people. all of the key things i tend to do. the blinking, mimicing, eye brow thing. weird. that and the eye drops that i use that dialate my pupils a bit. wooooo! way for me to have screwed up body language social cues.

"she seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame. all the torment and the pain. leaked through and covered me. i'd do anything to have her to myself. just to have her for myself. now i don't know what to do, i don't know what to do when she makes me sad. she is everything to me. a song that no one sings. the unattainable. she's a myth that i have to believe in. all i need to make it real is one more reason. i don't know what to do, i don't know what to do when she makes me sad..." -slipknot



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