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11-04-2005 - 03:21

bleah. i'm almost done with work today. i feel icky. sinus infection evilness. my non-drowsy allergy/sinus meds are making me sleepy. i looked on the box and it says that it may cause drowsiness (might be spelled wrong). i think perhaps i misunderstood the true meaning of "non-drowsy".

it's strange that on my weekend of three twelve hour shifts...i've gotten more sleep than any other time in the past couple of weeks.

my grandmother i guess didn't do too well today. i'm going to be out there tomorrow (really later today) and the day after that before i go to class. no sleep for me. i also have a dentist apt. later.

i just feel so worn out lately. people keep telling me that maybe i shouldn't hang out with my friends for a bit and sleep more and such...but it's the hanging out with my friends and work (oddly enough) that's keeping me sane right now.

i think i should start listing in here some of the things my grandmother has told me. just random stories/things. like how back in japan when she was little...her family was one of the only ones to have an actual bath (tub) inside. most people went to community baths. how her father would catch and sell koi and her mother would make kimono's to barter.

i've also got to figure out what i'm going to cook for my grandfather for dinner tomorrow. he's never really had to cook for himself and lately when i've not been cooking over there, he's been living off of sandwiches. his mother cooked for him in high school. the military cooked for him when he was with them. then he ate out while in college at some uber cheap curry place pretty much up until he married my grandmother. then she cooked for him.

i'm out of working brain for now...

"did it all get real? i guess it's real enough. they've got refridgerators full of blood. another century spent pointing guns at anything that moves. sometimes i worry that i've lost the plot. my twitching muscles tease my flippant thoughts. i never really dreamed of heaven much until we put him in the ground, but it's all i'm doing down. listening for patterns in the sound of an endless static sea. but once the satellites's deceased, it blows like garbage through the streets of the night sky to infinity. but don't you weep. there is lucky. don't you weep. there is nothing as easy...and free. don't be a criminal in this police state. you better shop and eat and procreate. you got vacation days then you might escape to a condo on the coast. i set my watch to the atomic clock. i watch the crowd cound down till the bomb gets dropped. i always figured that there'd be time enough, i never let it get me down...but i can't help it now. looking for faces in the clouds. i got some friends i barely see, but we're all planning to meet. we'll lay in bags as dead as leaves. all together for eternity. but don't you weep. there is no one as lucky. honey, don't you weep. there is nothing as easy...or free." -bright eyes



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