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03-06-2005 - 07:43


well. ryan got back from his journey wednesday. i did talk to him a bit yesterday, but my phone kept cutting out. sounds like he had a really great trip aside from having his car window broken and some items stolen. one of these days i'm going to have to read everything he posted about the trip. lately i've slacked on reading other people's posting and haven't even really had time to update mine...

well. jacob is back from california and he wants to hang out. it would be fun to hang out with him...but i'm not interested in dating him.

matt. well, matt was supposed to call me and let me know when his band was playing, but he didn't. he seems like a really nice guy and well...he's hot. but...i kind of dislike the lack of effort.

seiko. he's a really great guy too. i originally met up with him to help me with my japanese, and it is appearent that he is interested in dating. he's a nice guy, and the effort is there...he even bought me flowers the other day. we went out to dinner the other day and he paid for dinner and i paid for coffee after. it's just a bit weird. he gets up when i get out of work and he's usually sleeping by 10pm. that's usually when i go out. it just seems that i've stepped into a situation that i'm completely unsure of how to handle.

then there's ryan. ninja ryan. strange strange things. to be completely honest...he's completely average looking. but, he seems to be a lot like me. we finish sentences together. he'll ask the time as i'll be stating the time. i'll be about to mention that we should eat as he asks if i want him to cook something. he's also slept over a few times. (yes, only pg. kissing and sleeping. no sex or clothing removal aside from his shirt.) normally, if i'm sleeping next to someone, i'm not comfortable with them having their arms around me while sleeping. curling up next to, yes. but actually arms around, no. with him it's different. we've fallen asleep with his arms around me, and with him holding my hand. i'm also usually not comfortable holding hands with someone while out and about in public. (in crowds when you're trying not to get seperated or if a friend is really really drunk and you want to know if they pass out and fall over, yes...that's different.) there's also some saying somewhere that somehow states that you can win a guy over through his stomach or some such. well, i really like this whole having a guy cook for me. and not mac and cheese or eggs and toast. "real" food. i also have fun with him and he makes me laugh. not just giggle, but all out entire full body laughter. the kind that almost hurts, but makes you feel amazingly alive. we also have fun doing fairly simple things. we ate pie today in the rain with his friend chris. we walked around ann arbor. played arcade games at pinball pete's. got cold green tea from the gas station. drove around a bit. he scaled a wall. we walked his dog. sat talking and watching a video. he cooked. we sprawled out on the two couches in his living room and talked about random stuff. also. gift wise. the other day he gave me a weapon. not a throwing star....but (i can't think at this hour with only 2 hours of sleep the other night) the one that starts with an s...only 4 points. anyways. it's new and different.

oh. i'm not even sure if i mentioned that erik (my supervisor) came out with us on friday night. we went out to dinner and then to the club. much fun was had. it was a little more empty than usual, but it was the holiday weekend. so, hopefully he had fun.

i did visit my grandfather today. like i always do on my group of days off. we went out garage saleing. then to honeytree for dinner. after that, we looked through the garden and i took some flowers home with me. i have a lot of new stuff now. i also went shopping with my parents this past weekend.

ninja ryan told me that the night after sleeping over at my place, he was laying in his bed and for a second wondered where i was. then he realized that i wasn't there that night. not sure if it's true, but if it is, it's kind of sweet. he also kisses my hands a lot. that and we'll be sitting around or walking around and he'll kiss the top of my head. it's strange because it seems so normal. normal, but no one's ever done that before. oh. and from an earlier point...he makes an effort to see me. almost no gas in his car and he still comes out to novi. he also gives complements in a strange way. he's one of the few guys (straight guys) that can give me complements that sound completely honest.

well, i really need to sleep now. dire need of sleep. i'm thinking too much without it.

"...i wonder if i take you home. would you still be in love baby. in love baby. i wonder if i take you home. would you still be in love baby. in love baby..." -black eyed peas



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