28-02-2006 - 06:09
i poured out of this strange dream just a little bit ago. it may sound weird, but i've only been sleeping in little spells lately and only with the lights and television on. when i woke up i immediately turned over to see if the ninja was ok. was confused for a split second when he wasn't there. thought for another second that oh, he must be at home. then i realized that i didn't know where he was and that it was no longer part of my every day knowing...
i'm now wide awake and watching broken down palace. i really like this movie. don't own it though. i'm now in this strange mood. cold even with the heat up and a million blankets.
something funny in a way...my friend darcy lives in chicago. i just today noticed that the day she sent me an email invite for me and the ninja to visit out at her place was the day we broke up. and along with that, one week prior to that, the ninja had come up with this grand scheme of us going to chicago but had to cancel it the day we were supposed to go because he said that his brother had gone home and he had to stay to take care of his dog.
sometimes i think i'm living the perfect life...just with the timing off a little bit...
"you'll find it hiding in the shadows. you'll find it hiding in the cupboards. it will walk you home safe every night. it will help you remember. if that's the way it is. then that's the way it is. i still feel you and the taste of cigarettes. what could i ever run to? just tell me it's tearing you apart. just tell me you cannot sleep. if that's the way it is. then that's the way it is. and i didn't even notice. when the sky turned blue and we couldn't tell the difference between me and you and i nearly didn't notice the gentlest feeling. you are the bluest light." -bloc party