04-03-2006 - 08:03
browsing through old emails (instead of studying), i came across a blip in an email to the ninja that i'd forgotten...
"a friend of mine mentioned that they might stop by and visit tomorrow and asked if i thought i might be around. then i told them that i would be around because someone was planning on stopping by. "plans?". "i guess you'd say they were." "when did you start making plans?". "this weekend." "really?" "yeah. it all started when the guy asked me to stop by this place in ann arbor on his birthday coming up." "are you going?" "yeah. unless i'm prevented by forces beyond my control. you know how that goes..." "so, i don't talk to you for two weeks and here you are sleeping and making plans..." "
the ninja, he really is this great guy, and i think that he doesn't realize it and that that might be part of the problem. and while i'm not going to just sit around waiting for him, i really hope that when i see him when i get back from vegas later this month, that forces will be set in motion for us getting back together. and i am while i don't really feel sad right now...i can't stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes. i'm not crying. crying isn't just a tears thing. it's a whole body kind of thing. it's like i do miss him. i hope that in this time we will both have been able to get our lives working better and maybe it will make things easier for us no matter what type of relationship we end up with.
for now i'm going to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep. get up. study. clean my place up a bit. and have fun with ryan and beckie tonight.
as for now, i'm just a girl hung up on a boy who's slacking on school stuff, hungry, wanting a cup of tea, who'll fall asleep soon for a long nap and hope to dream of something really good for the first time in a while.
"meguru meguru toki no naka de. bokutachi wa ai o sagashiteiru. tsuyoku tsuyoku naritai kara. kyou mo takaisora miageteiru. meguru meguru toki no naka de. boku tachi wa ikite nanika wo shiru. toki ne warai shugoshi naite. kyou mo mada aruki tsuzukete iku." -inu yasha closing
"in endlessly repeating time, we were searching for love, because we wanted to become stronger. we look up to the faraway sky. in endlessly repeating time, we know why we are living. we go through the nighttime laughing, both of us are mourning, yet we walk on." -inu yasha closing
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