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12-03-2006 - 01:51

at work. tired. hope i'll be able to sleep later. lately the sleep i've had has been confusing. i have dreams that make me sad, or i just don't remember dreaming at all. i don't really feel rested, but then when i wake up i don't really feel like i need more sleep, nor am i able to get more even when i can.

it's raining outside right now. washing away the winter. rain and fog are things i enjoy. things that make me happy...when i'm not driving in them.

aside from the ninja thing...i've been feeling pretty good lately. more energy than usual even with less sleep.

oh...and while i was not able to do anything with my relationship...i was able to get my sister and her boyfriend back together. and talk my sister into getting help. she's been going to a.a. almost every other day since "the incident". i wish i knew exactly what and where things went wrong with my situation.

happy thoughts about the ninja. he did buy me flowers once. a dozen roses. drove his car till it died to come out and see me. hearing his voice the first thing every morning either in person, or over the phone. visited me at work. 7-11 slushies. seeing him at work. breakfast in bed. kissing my hands. watching kung fu movies. cooking me dinner. the two of us in ypsi bars. walking his dog with him. staying up super late to hang out with me even when he had work early the next morning. hiding in his jacket with him in the cold. mix cd's he gave me. someone i could vent to about my dislike of traffic conditions. that call at the end of his work day to let me know how things were going. him telling me that he really missed me and knowing that he really meant can i not have completely fallen for this guy? the good always outweighed the bad for me.

" when i see you please understand the way i think. your smile it heals me, i never want to go away. believe i love you no matter how selfish i get. i know you'll help me, the way i feel i won't forget..." -goldfinger



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