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25-03-2006 - 08:43


first of all, i watched "v for vendeta" on wednesday with brian and brent. i really liked the movie. my rant on that was that the music used in the movie was perfectly fitting, but not good for soundtrack sales. it impressed me. instead of going for extra money with a pushy soundtrack, they went with music that fit the storyline. it's something that i've been noticing and liking about movies that have come out lately...and after the movie, the three of us went out to the double eagle diner. hung out for a bit even though i felt completely ill.


last night after hapkido, dave stopped me by my car. i had just listened to the voice mail that the ninja left me saying that he already had plans for that night, but would like to meet up next week. so, about to head home...dave stops me. a guy who has always seemed rather shy and talks, but just not much. never knew much about him, and only saw him at hapkido. well, he asks if i'd be up for hanging out that night. i'm not really sure why, but i said sure. i think part of it was the ninja being busy. part of it was that i was surprised that he talked to me, let alone initiated us hanging out. anyways, we ended up at his place which is about 5 min. from where we take hapkido class. sat around listening to music and talking. and drinking. beer and asti. an odd mix. we got to his place around 9pm. there were moments of intense conversation as well as moments of comfortable silence. and all of the following was "dressing" him. lounging in bathrobes. drunken sparring. lounging in reclining chairs. great smelling incense. plans that perhaps involve going to arizona. a good and yet strange night. and as odd as it sounds, it all had a pg rating. next thing i realize...the sun is up. i got home well after the sun was up and actually later than i normally would have if i'd been working. and even after all of that, later during the day prior to work...we ended up talking for almost 3 hours on the phone. it really didn't seem like very long. not even half the time. it was really strange.

pre-story. i had last seen dave at hapkido the thursday before leaving for vegas. didn't talk more or less than usual. left hapkido and went home. well, dave told me that after he'd gone home...about 20 minutes later, he just really wanted to talk to me. wanted to hang out. he said that when he realized he wouldn't see me for almost two weeks, it got him thinking and he'd wished he'd talked to me before i left. so, two minutes before 10pm...he calls our hapkido instructor and asks him for my number. well, he didn't give it out and dave said that he was really dissapointed. so, this thursday, he had to say something. i just find all of that extremely interesting. it was also rather unexpected that when i was about to leave and there was frost coating my car...he actually came out and got the scraper from his car and cleared my windows. it amazes me at how much little gestures that people do can actually seem like a lot. i also find it interesting that i likely learned about the same amount of information on dave in under 24 hours as i did from the ninja during the entire time we dated.

the past two weeks just keep getting better. i really wish that the ninja was half as happy as i am right now. i've been walking around with this cheesy smile for the past two days. sometimes i wish i could better explain...

talked to brian this morning. sounds like things are going well for him. like things are falling into place for him as well.

brain's going into sleep mode. even though i didn't get much sleep before work was the best sleep i've had since the ninja.

do i still miss the ninja? yes. am i still in love with the ninja? yes. i was actually starting to think that perhaps i was broken for a bit there. the ninja had said that i'm not a very open person and menitoned problems with connections. but i think that in the past two weeks, i have concluded that that's not true. i'll share info with just about anyone who really wants to know. i think that that's part of the reason why i'm able to talk to dave and brian for so long. they really seem to want to know...

"more and more. i can't say no. so afraid of letting go. if there's something i can grab. you can bet, i'll pay the tab..." -weezer



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