29-07-2006 - 08:33
so. from now on...he shall be called ian. it's his middle name.
anyways. i find it strange. i really have to try to not talk about him all the time. it just turns out that i think about him quite a bit. he talks sometimes in his sleep. not loudly, and for the most part, it doesn't make any sense, but sometimes he says my name in his sleep. he's slightly jealous in this way that makes me feel great that he cares enough about it, and happy that he leaves it at just letting me know. there's really no public displays of affection, but he'll do things like brush the back of his hand across my back. touch my hand. things like that. we're also in that "can't keep hands off of each other" phase. honestly, i don't think i've ever been in that phase before. i tease him and he kisses me. then teases me right back. though, i think i have more to tease him about at this specific point in time. he's unconventionally good looking and attractive in this really odd way. everything he does makes me feel even better about myself. it makes me wonder if i've just grown up, or if i've just been dating the completely wrong people all of this time. i mean, many of the people i've dated have been great guys...just not great guys for me. some days we talk three or four times a day on the phone even when he was at my place all night/morning. and some days we don't talk all day. (those days i'll usually get an email asking how my night is going at work and such.) he compliments me on everything i wear and it always sounds honest. not forced or fake like in many cases. he's invited me to visit him in ny. neither of us want to think about what's going to happen when he leaves, so we've decided to have fun while he's still here and talk about the rest later. his mother phones him about as much as my mother phones me. it's kind of funny. she'll phone him while we're still in bed and ask him a million questions. moments later, my mother will do the exact same thing. i also find it strange that when he gets up, i don't wake up. i'm not used to that. with everyone else, i wake up when they get up...and then tend to go back to sleep if i can. he also worries about me. the other night there was an issue in my apartment parking lot. i went out there to see what was going on since there was a drunk girl out there and two guys. i tell him to stay in the apartment and walk out there with one of my knives palmed, and assist in resolving things...but, ian comes out there trying to help and attempting to make sure i'm ok. he also plays with my hair a lot. he braided part of it the other night. i never have let anyone really play with my hair. usually just fros out and bothers me. he keeps me in mind when ever we do things. it's so amazingly different from the ninja. he's not allowed to touch my dvd player. for some reason it skips when he does. he also surprises me in good ways all the time. anyways. enough rambling about ian.
other news. i may be going to hawaii with mike. wayne state really needs to post class times and days soon. i can't commit to going till that's figured out. i really want to go though. a dual birthday hawaii trip. fun fun fun. i also want to take ian up on the offer to visit him in ny. bleah. school. beckie took her bar exam. then her drivers side window fell into her door...during a rain storm. i haven't cleaned my apartment in ages since most of my spare time is spent hanging out with ian. sword training is coming along nicely. i also finally have my belt testing this week. everything finally seems to be going right...
"...put a jazz band on my hearse wagon. just to raise hell as we roll along..." -saint james infirmary
