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07-08-2006 - 11:37

currently watching old black and white movies on amc.

i talked to takkun last night for about an hour shortly after midnight while i was at meijers being tailed by a group of teenaged asian boys. takkun is now engaged. happened this weekend. i reminded him that in fact, ryan and i have not seen him since he started really dating julie and now he's engaged. i explained to him how long this time frame was and that he is definitely now required to visit us. he may be coming along to ryan's new june 10th gathering.

so. oddly, this got me thinking about ian. well, not so oddly since he's leaving so soon. i realized that ian is not only the best qualities from the ninja, but he's also all of the good qualities from takkun. i wonder if that's why things came together like they did. totality of circumstances. i also think that perhaps he's the best qualities of me. or maybe i just like him enough where all i see is the good.

similarities. we both have control issues. tmj. we're both in grad school for things that really have nothing to do with our undergrad degrees. both very stubborn. we both want to eventually have a house with a library and a green house. now the question is, how much do i like him? i know quite a bit, but i've tried not to think about how much. i also don't know if it's insecurities or what not, but don't think he could possibly be as interested in me as i am in him. so, i don't want to be selfish. i don't think it would be fair for either of us if i were to say anything. i'm not even sure why i'm thinking about this now...

currently watching the movie "and now...ladies and gentlemen..." it came out in 2000 or 2002, but it's on amc. i kind of like it. it's an odd movie. interesting colours. and jazz. jazz music all through it. it will be interesting to see how it ends...

my parents want me to either pick up or get rid of my books that i have at their place. where am i going to put that many books? and i'll need them for my future library. right now i need to go to sleep but my brain won't let me. that and i have to see the end of this movie. can't sleep. thinking. movie still on. grounds people are once again doing their weekly mowing of the lawn and trimming of the shrubs around my window. i'm kind of hungry. i know i'm going to be tired tonight at work. i guess that's not a big deal. happens often. think i'll have to drink a lot of coffee. to think of it...i don't think i've had any coffee since i started hanging out with ian. strange...


"i hate drunk people. i hate sober people. i hate all people today. i hate short people. i hate tall people. i hate all people today. 'cuz i'm havin' a bad day. havin' a bad day. get out of my way. 'cuz i'm havin' a bad day. i'm havin' a bad day. havin' a bad day. get out of my way. 'cuz i'm havin' a bad day. i hate horny people. i hate corny people. i hate all people today. i hate dumb people. i hate smart people. i hate all people today. i hate my boss. b-b-q sauce. i'll just throw it all away. like a chile being chased by a monster that will never go away. i close my eyes and hope for a bright tomorrow. i wanna be alone..." -blue flannel



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