01-04-2008 - 10:11
so, once again it's april. the first day of it. i had everything held together until i emailed my supervisor for a vacation day on the 18th. i just don't know if i could work an anniversary of my grandmothers death and not cry in public. so. right now. i'm here in bed listening to the pillows on repeat. tears just raining down. i don't know why i can't stop crying. i fear it's just going to get worse. i fear that i might just use up my crying for this year all in the next few weeks. i don't know if i want to be around someone or alone on the 18th...
"kikoetekuru no wa kimi no koe. sore igai wa iranakunatteta. afureru namida wa sono mama de ii'n da. moshimo warawaretemo..." -the pillows
"i could hear your voice. that's become the only thing i need. it's ok if the tears just keep flowing. if you can make me laugh..." -the pillows