04-04-2008 - 01:21
driving today, the first song that i heard all the way through was it's a shame about ray. window down. music up loud. singing along.
anyways. "the boy" came out today. he sounded like he didn't want to come out, but stated otherwise. so, like expected, he came out pretty late. and like expected, he fell asleep pretty much right after showing up. so, to let him sleep, i'm on a different room. think i'll just sleep out here so i don't keep him awake. the last night i get to see him and...well...i really don't get to see him.
so, i had a really bad day today. didn't work on my paper. had a hassle at the car place. didn't get the oil change. issues with the boy. (and when i say today, i really mean yesterday since it's after midnight.)
oh. and my parents once again made me feel completely worthless again. it's been a while since this has happened. i mean usually there's a couple of verbal direct strikes, but today was just an entire attack. i think part of it is that they're upset about my sister and about the fact that april is a bad month for all of us. maybe it's just easier to take it out on someone.
i also know that i complain a lot on here about guys. well, here's my current situation. i figure some day i'll look back on all of this and wonder why i even bother...
so. i hope to get my paper done this weekend at work and finish up on monday since it's due tuesday. maybe i'll see if i can join along with the tuesday subaru outing for some cheering up. after this paper is due, i have a week with nothing before the next lab. i think i need to get out more. i've really spent a lot of time with "the boy" lately and have kind of limited things. not that i mind having hung out with him a lot, just noticing that i've not hung out much with others.
i think that i do need to make some changes. i know i say this often, and often i do make changes. sometimes changes are needed to just pull out of things that have gotten too routine...
"if i make it through today, i'll know tomorrow not to put my feelings out on display. i'll put the cobwebs back in place. i've never been to good with names, but i remember faces..." -lemonheads (non-acoustic)