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04-04-2008 - 12:57

woke up one of the many times today...and this time it was to a giant spider. so, i made some panicked noises and lept from bed in a pretty skilled manuver. fortunately, there was someone to kill the spider for me. this way i didn't have to flail a bokken in the general direction of it until it was gone. too bad this won't be happening again for a while. (someone to kill the spiders for me...not the spiders crawling out at me part.)

so. i never know if i make the "right" decision about things, but sometimes i know a decision has to be made. so, i made a decision today. as my favourite quote goes..."nothing can happen till you swing the bat." so, i figured i had to take a swing and make up my mind. yeah, i took the "easy" way out, but it's the out that seems best for everyone. pretty much, i'm not going to hang out with "the boy" aka naota any more. it would have been too difficult to do so anyways with scheduling and such, but if we're just friends and we would no longer be able to do friend things, then it just doesn't work. that and the fact that i really like him. fate, destinty, whatever...have decided that we really shouldn't hang out. me personally, i never take those things at their word. i'm a big fan of challenges, so i often times take things head on in the opposite direction. he's not up for it and hasn't given me any reason to be up for it this time, so i guess i'll take an out on it before the game gets too complicated.

i'm really not sure why situations are never simple that i'm in. i know that part of the complicated equation is me. either i'm not interested enough or i'm the one who's interested and the other isn't. slowly learning though. maybe in a couple of decades i'll finally have things figured out. maybe by then i'll be able to look at things more from emotional levels and not in manners of logic. do i want to not see someone? no. but logic equates that not seeing them is the best option given the current data.

it is kind of funny that i did finally narrow down his song to three...all by the same singer.

anyways. i'm cold. i'm sad. then again, i'm happy to be watching flcl since i think that a lot of life lessons can be learned from it.

oh. and for the first time in a while, things were really good here. for like a half hour we were laughing and acting like normal people.


[instrumental flcl version of beautiful morning with you by the pillows]



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