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07-04-2008 - 04:03

i realized last night chating with m online that it's been a long time since come across a situation where i'm compelled by someone. this probably doesn't make much sense, but like back in undergrad. aimee and i sitting in the cafeteria eating. aimee panicked about going there alone. us talking. and every day i'd see the guy with the black hair and blue eyes not too far from us. i'd feel compelled to say something to him, but aimee didn't want to be left alone eating, so i didn't. i'd never see him anywhere else but there or out a window or across campus. i knew i had to meet him and that i would meet him. figured if he was as interesting as he was good looking, i'd date him too. told aimee that too. and then one random day he showed up at our door in the dorms and we had a crazy time together for a while. i'm trying to think of the last person i was compelled to get to know. not in just a dating aspect, but just in general. i think i'll have to work on that this spring.

i had such a tragically sad dream today. in it, i was on a large boat with many people. there was no one that i knew, but in my dream, everyone there was a friend. waves crashing up over the boat. heaving from side to side. in this dream, i lost them all. one by one. there's a great storm. lightening and a red sky. i entwine my arms in some rigging tied to the railing. i see people sliding off the boat. i grab onto them and they eventually slip through my grasp into the waters. lost forever. i woke up and had to catch my breath.

anyways. i'd emailed one of the profs about a question regarding the lab i'm working on the write up for. appearently i'm the only one in class to have caught that gel one was the gel that the dna had to be rerun on. maybe it'll get me a couple extra points when my write up is submitted. i currently have half of it done already which is pretty decent for a hard core slacker like myself when i have all day and night to finish it.

i'm also trying to determine right now if it's selfish to have taken the 18th off from work and not letting my family know because i don't think i could be around them for it. i do believe that i'll wear my pink sakura blossom kimono with the black/red/gold obi. maybe i'll have to cook a decent meal for my picnic.

"i am not worried, 'cause i've done this sort of thing before. but then i start to think about the consequences because i don't get no sleep in a quite room..." -counting crows



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