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13-04-2008 - 22:59

apartment cleaning.
strange things are amiss at the circle k...

so, it appears that the boy is kind of flaking out on me. something really understandable since i did the same thing times two earlier this month. i did suggest a end everything, start from the beginning, but it doesn't appear he's up for that. so, i guess relations between both parties will just dwindle and may or may not die off. a sad but true potential ending. but, what's done is done and can not be undone.

so. i've plans for this thursday. from the looks of it, ryan and i will be going to proof. mix match mingle and music. then friday i have a vacation day. i no longer want to spend it alone, but i'm not sure who i'll spend it with. then hopefully my life mentally/emotionally will resume normal course of action. i think that i've pulled through this april so far in fairly sane manner. every year it gets better. then on sunday i'll see if i can see the dalai lama in ann arbor. which i hope will happen.

i find it funny that last week i was driving to work with the windows down. short sleeves, no jacket. then this morning it snowed. and it's still quite cold.

i had an odd dream last night/this morning. hiding in the overhang of a shop with someone in what might have been italy. rain pouring down. laughing about something. i can't remember the person but i remember the conversation. we were talking about how we hoped the film didn't get ruined with me playing in some fountain. and if we should stay another few days or head onto another destination. motorcycle drives by and splashes us with water and that's when i wake up. it's funny that i remember the conversation, but not who i was talking with. i take it as a sign of travel.

"if happy times are too few and far between. it's a pity dear, we can't erase the things we've seen. so disappear, vanish if you wish. just go before you're swallowed up by bitterness. and the truth is you can't hide from the truth. and the truth hurts because the truth is all there is..." -handsome boy modeling school



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