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23-06-11 - 02:53

i've been having crazy dreams lately. the one i had yesterday was strange. in the dream, i woke up and everything was quite. i turned on the television and there was just static. i walked outside and there were no cars. no people. i tried calling people, but no one would pick up. it was kind of cold out and for some odd reason, cherry blossom petals were falling. i was crying and lying in the lawn in front of my apartment. then i heard a violin playing. it was the first noise i had heard in days of lying in the lawn. so i followed it. there was a guy playing the violin poorly on a metal chair in the middle of the meijers parking lot. i don't remember much about him, but he recognized me. i remember that he told me that i was late and that he had been waiting for a while. told me that we'd been asleep for 1000 years. that everyone else was gone. he told me that everything would work out and that i had to live in that world for a while, but that eventually he could send me back before everything ended. i remember crying again and he put his hand on top of my head. arm stretched out. he looked right at me and he was so bright, like the sun. he said that i wouldn't be able to remember much of that world when he sent me back, but to make sure then when i was sent back to wait for something amazing.

that dream was strange and definitely made up for the previous dreams where my sister killed someone and was trying to get me to cover it up or the one where i was out to sea in a tiny life raft with only books, evening gowns, and bottles of wine.

i'm happy right now. stressed but happy. i need to remember to put out some sake for the alter in the morning. ask buddha to look after things during the exam. i still need to decide what dress to wear for luck. too bad my left arm is all bruised from a blood draw at work the other day. i look like i've been shooting up or something. the kid is definitely going to comment on it. it's weird.

i've also come across something strange. i know that at my age people usually understand emotions and whatnot properly, but i came across something today. i was so angry at someone that my brain blanked. i wanted to fight them. i'm not sure if it was just a new level of anger? hate? i've always thought that there would have to be some sort of really personal connection between people to have something like that. hmmmm...

oh, and i think i discovered the perfect formula to make someone fall in love. i discovered it while slacking from studying and watching alice. i didn't realize it, but i've used that formula before. it's how i ended up with stalker ex-boyfriends. i wonder if one can reverse engineer it to get someone to fall out of love as well...

"you asked me where we were going. i said barcelona. you said that's not what i meant. maybe i'll never get it. i just don't think i'm like that. don't like planning stuff out. it never happens that way." -stroke 9



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