Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

13-01-15 - 10:07

as always, it's been a while...

i'm not even sure where i really left off. my sister had a kid. then another one. no divorce, but her family is moving in with my parents for a while.

i'm still single and gave up dating some time back. not sure where my travels left off...thailand? cambodia? brazil? since then i've been back to japan where i fell in love with kyoto. hooked up with a hot bearded skateboarder guy. drank a flaming helicopter. ended up going to costa rica to complete the 'learn how to surf before i turned 35' and only skimmed in by two days.

now sussing out everything else.

i felt compelled to post on here again since i just got back from vegas and i know my first vegas trip ended up on here. went with my friend jeff aka cupcake. technically, i didn't go there with him, but met him there. going off on a tangent, while talking with him, i think i figured out why i can't sleep on airplanes. i managed to do so on the hawaii trip years ago, but i think that's the only trip where i've flown out with someone i knew...not just met someone/s somewhere. maybe someday i will find a regular travel companion and be able to properly test this theory.

anyways, getting back to the story at hand. mgm grand. glorious hotel room with an amazing view. level 22. 2 large beds, decent sized room. it was nice sleeping in a room with someone who didn't mind having background noise for once. i have a difficult time sleeping without it. we walked the strip. got towers of margarita. checked said towers in a locker to ride a roller coaster (which as i've noted before is something i do to challenge my fear of heights). saw flamingos. saw david copperfield (later was reminded by family that when i was younger i always said i would see him in person). ate a decent meal at shibuya. saw steve aoki. due to foot injury, and a cigarette burn (girl accidentally put hers out on my arm), i ended up getting back to the room before jeff after getting into a tequila challenge with a dutch dj and losing a bet and having to kiss a gay guy from chicago.

it was a glorious trip from start to the long airport end. on the way there, i met two guys from MN. mark paid for my drinks at the airport bar. super classy too. not one of those 'can i buy you a drink' guys. he talked to the bartender and paid for mine and i didn't realize it until we were getting ready to leave as our flights were at the same time just different gates. my trip was amazing. i doubt he thinks the same, but i would have to say that he and beckie are the easiest people i have ever traveled with. then, after seeing him off at his side of the airport, i ran into someone from the plane he got on (this guy was getting off of that one) who was heading to detroit. so, we hung sorted out how to get all the way across the airport and spent the wait together. he told me about his wife and two kids, shared our mutual love of detroit and cliff bells, and he told me that i should put effort into dating the guy who he saw me with at the gate. i found this hilarious as during the vegas trip, everyone kept asking jeff and i if we were married. if/when i ever do get married (like the fortune teller said would happen), i'm definitely going through with my japanese elvis dream wedding in vegas and then going back there as a couple frequently afterwards just so if i'm asked again, i can say 'yes'.

other than that...

1. it was nice being around someone that i don't have to censor my weirdness.

2. i also found myself in an odd situation. one of the nights, well, technically mornings, jeff ended up crawling into bed with me. a curled up arms around situation. normally something like this would be awkward and not comfortable...even with someone i was dating. it oddly seemed normal. nothing other than that happened, and upon waking, it was as if it didn't. i guess it gives me hope that maybe i am more human than i thought and there are actually people out there that i can be completely comfortable with.

3. as always, i am bluntly honest on here. it's how i sort out myself. i can't say that i like or dislike jeff in any sort of dating manner, but in the club, there was a point where it crossed my mind to kiss him. i didn't follow through with this and i'm not even sure where the thought came from, but if he wasn't talking to a girl that was hard core hitting on him when i got back from being burned and whatnot, i probably would have. it confuses me as to why.

all in all, i think 2015 is going to be a good year. i won't let it not be. i think that my mom finally broke my psyche enough the day after christmas that i don't know if i can get hurt again by the things she says. my grandfathers health is getting worse, but i am actually considering moving somewhere else. while i would feel bad for not being the one to deal with everything going on with him, it would be nice to be free of the responsibility. this year has so much potential. i am going to travel more, even if i have to live off of ramen for days at a time. i've already decided that i'm not going to keep on the winter weight like i usually try to through march. the cold just can't get me this season. i don't know where i'm going, but after my lease is up this summer, i'm pretty sure i am going to move. there's just so much. so much of everything and i can't get it all down on here. so, this is where i leave you.

"my church offers no absolutes, she tells me 'worship in the bedroom'. the only heaven i'll be sent to, is when i'm alone with you..." -hozier



previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!