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25-01-15 - 04:03


so, tonight i went out for k's birthday. he was the main dj at the bar. some days i am me. some days i am someone else. tonight i filled in. it seemed that he would want a girl to watch him spin, make sure he had drinks, and play well with others. 3 guys from different countries hit on me, and i chatted with them a bit, but told them i was there with a friend. end of the night, drunk k ended up kissing me. i played along. why not? it was his birthday.

while there are very few friends i would possible sleep with on their birthday if the occasion came up, kissing someone (not making out, but just kissing) isn't a big deal.

i wonder how many people run through their minds which of their friends they would sleep with. it's not something i put thought into, but i have had friends ask if i think i would sleep with friend x if they hit on me. things like this usually don't cross my mind unless someone asks me. maybe i'm weird like that.

also, here's a dream i had the other morning:
i was at some sort of hotel or convention kind of center. i was there with beckie, jeff, and one other person, but upon waking i can't remember who. the place was set up where the cafe area was up on a higher level. we had something that with the paper we each somehow had (don't know how we obtained it as the dream kind of started mid-event), we could go in and out and have free food at either the buffet or served from behind a bar. two entrances into the place on opposing sides.

initially the four of us stopped in and just had a few things to snack on. we then all split up and went off to do our own things and had decided to meet back up at the same place later. it started out like a lovely dream. while they all went off, i just kept looping around. get food. eat. go for a little stroll. repeat. at one point in time, i see beckie enter while i'm some ways away. i head over. i don't see beckie upon entering and i stop at the bar area to see what kind of food they have. people are just getting the same food as the buffet area and i don't want to wait, so i then head over to the buffet area which is right were we are supposed to meet up.

i don't see beckie there, so i get some food. bacon and fruit. i still don't see beckie around. then i hear a bit of a commotion. see some people not running, but walking really fast from the entrance near the elevators. no one is saying what's going on. i stay towards the perimeter of the room, but i slowly make my way towards the entrance. the place has all sorts of shiny mirrored surfaces so when i get to the entrance, i look out at the reflection. there's a guy standing in front of the elevators with a gun. from the glare, i can't tell if it's a rifle or a shotgun, but it's a longer weapon. then i see the guy pop into the elevator and hold the door open.

suddenly, a guy rounds the corner and before i can say anything, he runs onto the elevator. the doors shut. i run up to the partition next to the doors and the elevator opens again. the elevator never left the floor. the bad guy comes out with gun in his left hand and holding the guy who just ran onto the elevator (who turns out to be jeff) at arms length with his right at the shoulder. he pushes him about 2 feet into the elevator lobby area and says he's going to start with jeff before he 'gets in on everyone else'. he pushes him forward and raises the weapon. there's the moment. i grab the barrel, and twist while pushing it in towards the bad guy. i get the gun away and point it at him. more in that i shocked the guy then actual skill. everything slows down. there's people screaming. people running towards us because they don't know what's going on. some annoying kid crying in the background. i get tunnel vision like what i used to have all of the time and my hearing suddenly goes 'dark'. everything sounds very muffled. the guy suddenly pulls out what looks like a .9mm matte black semi-auto. he pulls it out of either a holster behind his back or his back waistband. the second i see it, i fire. two rounds. one dead center of his chest, one slightly higher and to the right. what i have has a lot of kick. i can feel the panic and adrenaline. the bad guy staggers back. his shoulder and torso were thrown back with the force and i realize he has on body armor. he's coughing and starts to raise his weapon again. the weapon i got off of him is some sort of military shotgun with an internal feed. i realize that it has multiple rounds, but in everything going on, i'm not sure how many. i also realize there is a manual and semi-auto function, but there's no time even though things seem slowed down to sort out the semi-auto function. i am using it pump action. i then fire twice more. i strike the bad guy in the left side of his neck and as blood is spraying out, i fire again and hit him in the forehead just right of center. i won't get into it, but my dream had graphic details of all of this. the bad guy drops, but is still moving. more twitching than anything else, but my brain hasn't caught up with this yet. i fire twice more into the guy and kick his gun away.

my hands then start shaking and next thing i realize, i'm just crumpling to my knees and crying. beckie had been talking with someone across the way and saw everything through the glass. she runs up and i'm still kneeling on the floor. i hear sirens in the background and security from the place run up. i still can't really hear what's going on and one of the security guys gently takes the weapon from me. beckie is hugging me from the side and someone puts a coat or blanket around my shoulders. all just a weird blur. i realize i'm covered in what i'll call debris and i try to stand up. my shoulder hurts. i'm also shaking too badly to get my legs to work. i see someone hunch over the bad guy and they pull a strap that's slung over his shoulder around. i didn't see it before, but it looks like an AR. the guy tells me just as my hearing is starting to get back to normal that everything is ok now and that i just saved a bunch of people.

i then wake up and for a split second, it really smelled to me like gunpowder and iron in my bedroom. it was such a realistic feeling dream. it was even a very peculiar weapon so i looked things up upon waking. what was in my dream turns out to be a real weapon. a franchi spas-12. in real life, it does come with a tube extension with 6+1 or 8+1 rounds. it also is pump-action or gas-actuated.

end of dream.

looks like i might be going to TN for my february trip. then in march what ever location jeff decides upon. i don't know if i can keep my plan for monthly travel, but maybe. i do think this is going to be a cathartic year of travel and music. or at least i hope so.

'tomorrow' i have a show to see at the dso. it's in the afternoon in detroit of course. later, shigeto is going to be at a record store out that ways. i used to have a slight crush on him. part japanese guy with a native american last name?!? makes me think of myself.

i do wonder if there is anyone else out there who listens/loves music like i do. it can almost put me in a state of zen. it can be the best high a person can get. it can also be the most peaceful of calm meditations.

well, i guess that's enough for now...

"all who gone to the morgue. rip to a loved on. put yo cups them high..." -popcaan



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