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27-02-15 - 09:17

it's been a very long time since i've slept outside. i don't know why i've been thinking about this, but when it's warm, i think i'm going to invest in a hammock and mosquito net. maybe it's because i'm thinking of arizona in the midst of all of this cold.

the last time i was in arizona, i was there with kyle. one of the few guys i've ever dated who liked the outdoors as much as the indoors. similar to me. i just remember the sky looking so much more beautiful there. too bad my friend jeff is more of a hotel rather than camping kind of guy. i guess we've got a hotel in sedona. i think i might still sneak out to look at the stars...

i was sick for the first time in a long time this week. not a cold. nothing contagious. sinus issues. we were so short at work though that i couldn't even properly call off sick (it's been 2 years since i've had a sick day). only ended up working 8 hours and then went home 4 early.

i am currently watching a taiwanese drama right now. for the most part, the women in the series are completely helpless. completely. it's sooooo much effort to go on a hike that they get tired out after a mile? then the girl slides off a cliff side because she goes too close to the edge even after being warned? then after sliding off, says she's too tired to pull herself up when her boyfriend is holding both of her arms? if my life were in danger, i would have at least made an attempt to save myself. eh. then again, maybe this is why things rarely work out when i date asian guys. they expect me to act like i look. just because i almost always wear dresses, have long hair, and a slight addiction to sparkly lip gloss, doesn't mean that i don't accessorize my knifes with my outfit or could kick ass if needed in most cases.

this. this is why i am single. i am too picky. i want a guy who enjoys both the indoors and outdoors. someone who could actually be the guy in a relationship even though as a female, i am way more alpha male than most of the guys i know. someone who doesn't mind that i don't watch football and basketball, but love to watch martial arts, boxing, and curling. then again, maybe it's just because i love being single so much. i'm not very considerate or caring of the people i date and it's always so much of a hassle.

the amusing thing is that the less interested i am in dating, the more guys ask me out. maybe i really am becoming more attractive the older i get. maybe i finally moved out of the "cute" phase. then again, i tend to only get asked out by 23 yr old guys, guys who live out of state/country, and divorced guys who have kids.

"if you come inside, things will not be the same when you return to the night. and if you think you've won, you never saw me change the game that we have been playing..." -chris cornell



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