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14-03-15 - 07:57

it's foggy out this morning. foggy all night. i think that maybe i couldn't move away from here unless it was to somewhere that has fog. i love it. it's amazing. i found every excuse to take calls in the fog at work. i used to play out in the fog at my parents house. everyone would hide outside and i would be running through it. one of my best memories ever is when i was with todd and the others in scotland. i just remember the fog and walking through a forest...into a carnival. the ferris wheel. few things in this world can be more perfect than a ferris wheel in the fog. i remember that only todd would go with me. then again todd had a crush on me then. how do i know this since i'm so oblivious to guys liking me? he was that amazingly obvious.

i'm reading book two of the second series that cupcake recommended for me. i find it funny how much i seem to have in common with the main characters in both series. jazz. drinking. general mo's for life.

it's not often that i wish i wasn't sleeping alone. today is one of those days though. can't decide if i'll sleep to music or tv in the background though. i don't know why i have trouble sleeping when i don't have that background noise. even rain works. too bad fog doesn't have a lovely noise...

i'm in a weird mood this morning. actually since last night. i can't quite place why.

currently watching 'the rifleman'. i love my early saturday morning westerns. i have such odd tastes in things.

i keep thinking about cupcake. the fact that i am oddly comfortable around him. even singing in the car with him. i think that if he hadn't moved, that we would have been great friends. at least with beckie, we were able to hang out locally for years before she moved. sadly, i didn't have similar with cupcake. i know that no matter where beckie moves, we will always be good friends. it's rather reassuring. i would have liked similar with him. it's not often i find people i am completely comfortable around. even some of my close friends. i don't know if that says something about them, or me.

beckie keeps sending me messages. messages about finding new and fun places where she currently lives. it makes me happy that she discovers these places and thinks of me.

i think i need to decide on someone to stay over. not to date. not to complicate. just to share a bed with every once and a while. while i don't normally like to 'cuddle', i do like sleeping in the same room/bed with someone occasionally. it's one of those things that makes me feel more human.


my mind is drifting all over. always does. i almost want to play in the fog right now in my pajamas. too bad my neighbours already think me odd. i'm also considering buying myself some pumpkin pie for my next days off. if little things make one happy, sometimes you just need to make yourself happy...

"let me down. set me down. let me down easy. blood crushed from a clock. i'm in love but we just talk..." -jets to brazil



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