14-06-2002 - 16:31
bah. days off. time near/around my family. on my work days, i look foreward to my fun days off, but then on my days off i just wish i was anywhere but here.
i've also noticed that i am taking my anger from family time out on others. must try harder not to do that.
my parents have i guess decided that they will mail their letters/bills and such, but not mine. i will have to mail my own letters even though they mail their everyday at the same place that i would have to go to.
my father's operation went well today. that's about the only thing going well today.
i was going to take my car in today and get the alignment done. i have the money for it, and the time. (3-4 hours) but my mother appearently could break away from my father and hang out in the hospital cafe for an hour, but could not break away for 15 min to pick me up from the auto shop. so, i ended up not getting it done and will have to attempt to do it another time.
appearently i am not compentant (is that spelled correctly?) to own my car. my mother says that i should have had everything already set up. well, there's not much to set up. you take your car in and get a ride home or to somewhere. then you get a ride back to the auto place in 3-4 hours. not too difficult. i'm also annoyed that my mother thinks that a 3-4 hour wait in an auto shop waiting room wouldn't be that bad. and i think that i have every right to own my car. i've done almost all of the work on it since i've owned it...and i've had it since i was 16. i've never done the alignment on it, nor do i think i should attempt to try it, but just because i don't know what i'm doing on this one issue, doesn't mean that i'm incompentant.
and...the new fun thing it that my parents laugh about my job. yes, they made me feel miserable when i didn't have one, and now that i do have one, they make fun of me about it.
and, i will not be purchasing a digital camera this weekend. appearently my father knows of a place online that i can get the one i want cheaper than in the stores. so, i must wait for him to recover and then decided to tell me which site it's on so i can then look it up (which i could do now if he told me) check the price (which i could do now if he told me) and then purchase it with my credit card (which i could also do very easily on my own.) grrrrrr....
yes, this is self-pity, and yes, i am selfish for being upset about this when there are tons of people much worse off than i am, but i just sometimes have to vent about all of this before it gets out of hand.
ah yes, and i've also been getting talked to in loud angry (not yelling mind you...or so my parent's say) voices about my sister and her situation. i would like to state now that i had nothing to do with her drinking. i did not buy the drinks for her. i did not supply the money for her to buy drinks. i did not buy her the new car of which she got her dui for. i did not introduce her to her fiance. i did not have any part of them getting engaged. i do not control her life, and i can not at this time, or likely any other time have any affect on if she stays with her fiance, or not. gah!
"i had to close down everything. i had to close down my mind. too many things to cover me. too much can make me blind. i've seen so much in so many places. so many heartaches, so many faces. so many dirty things you wouldn't believe. i would stand in line for this. it's always good in life for this..." -moby