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31-03-2003 - 03:33

my life: days of insanity with an immortal demi-god

well, my sister had been m.i.a. since thrusday night. her roommates said that she left with some guy. that and she hasn't gone to class for about a month (and should have been ready to graduate at the end of this the status is unknown.)

i'm wondering how my liver is doing lately. i've been drinking too many days of the week lately...and enjoying every minute of it. not getting drunk, but drinking almost every night with nick and don...and some nights just nick.

and on the topic of nick. i'm not dating him, just hanging out with him. and, technically i am sleeping with him, but not "sleeping" with him. i've almost called into work the past few days. just not wanting to get out of bed. nick is comfortable. it's great to just fall asleep watching movies/listening to music and wake up curled up next to someone. and, like in the movie mallrats...there's some people who you're always trying to get comfortable with. sleeping next to them and not knowing where to put your arm....yeah....nick is completely comfortable. no matter how i sleep next to him, i'm comfortable. it's really odd. i don't think people realize how rare it is to be completely comfortable sleeping next to someone. no snoring. no arm falling asleep. no blanket stealing. no cold feet.

my only problem is that when i start to wake up, i make quiet moaning sounds as i stretch. but, nick hasn't seemed to mind. he just moves the blanket to cover me up better after my position shift...then he tells me that i don't have to go to work and that he would be completely content if i called off work and we just stayed in bed all day eventually leaving to get food at a diner. sounds great to me. the only problem is that sometime (i don't know when) i think i started to grow up. responsibility and such. i didn't call in to work because we were on our minimum staffed days and i would feel bad calling in.

one good thing is that even with everything going on, i forget a lot of the unhappy stuff while in the company of nick and don. they're just really funny and fun to hang out with.

on a sad father is still really sad about mickey dieing. my mother wants me to come home on my leave days and try to cheer him up. with mickey and my parents are just emotionally shook up. i feel bad about it. my sister isn't just wrecking her life...she's dragging everyone down with her. i mean...even my grandmother. she's running chemo and that makes someone feel bad enough...and then my sister not going to class...running off with some strange guy...violating her probation.

other than that, i still have some slight interest in someone who has no interest in me. it's snowing out. i ahven't slept much in days. and, while i'm worried, i'm happy once again. moments of sadness creep in over mickey, but in general, i'm back to my normal self.

i watched the show undergrads again. i love that show. now i'm just watching random stuff.

drinking tea.

hungry. undecided on what to eat.

i would like to state that i'm sold on honesty. blunt honesty. i like when people actually say what they're thinking. in the span of my typing this all out, i've discovered what i love about nick and don. they always say what they mean. that's what makes me comfortable around them.

my mother keeps telling me that i need to date more. that i need to meet guys and such. maybe i do. maybe i don't. instead i'll watch cheesy sappy 80's movies. just finished the breakfast watching sixteen candles...on late night tbs.

"one time when you ran from me, i remembered it clearly. a year ago and i'm here today. just like you said that day. so simple in your own way. no doubt that both of us are insane. do you remember the day we met. said words i can't forget. so much i think of what you do. just like you said that day, so simple in your own way. no doubt that both of us are insane. sometimes it gets instilled. sometimes it feels too real and i can say this is the deal. i'd like forever and ever. i'll never love again. can't you see that i'm in. i'll never know another you. what you do." -reggie and the full effect



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