08-01-2004 - 03:01
one day left out of my eight day. i am feeling better now, but i'm not completely well yet.
so far, i don't have plans for my entire weekend. i do kind of have plans for friday though. (if i'm feeling well.) there was this guy named andy that i met in college that was friends with aimee's joe. he dropped out of everything and popped up a bit ago working at the hospital. anyways, he's friends with a band that's playing in ferndale on friday night, so hopefully i'll be able to go. it's about time i'm going out and doing things...
there's this massive icicle hanging off the roof right next to my bedroom window. thing's got to be working on 3 feet long.
still no contact from the other andy...and that's dissapointing. (is there one or two "s"'s in that word?) i really wonder about him. only about 6 months ago, he was going to spontaneously meet up with me in new york. not long ago, we used to sit around watching the cartoon network's midnight run (pre adult swim). up until his last visit, every time i saw him i'd run up and throw my arms around his neck. he tried to teach me to rollerblade quite a few times where i'd put his skates on over my shoes and he'd pull me around a bit...let go, and then catch me because i'd always start to fall. i don't mean to dwell on this, but it just makes me wonder why even though i've always said he was the "cutest boy in the whole world" and known he was a great guy, i was never interested. i also hope that he doesn't ever read any of this...but it has to be said. there's just so many thought/moments that have to be captured no matter how happy, sad, embarassing, silly they are.
what would i do if he suddenly called and said that he has a crush on me? i'd put up with not seeing him very often. i'd wait for him to call and talk about him all the time. i'd sent him mixed cd's and maybe ryan and i would fly out and visit him when we got a chance.
what will i likely do since the above scenario isn't likely to happen? i'll still go out and meet new people. i'll probably met a cute guy who likes a lot of the same music as i do. we'll likely date for a few weeks, maybe a month or so...and then we'll drift apart. from there, the process will likely start again.
it's kind of odd. people keep wanting to set me up with their friends. i'm wondering if i'm missing out on meeting/dating some really great person because of someone who has never thought of me as any more than a friend.
the thing is that while dissapointed, i'm not sad. i don't think i could ever relate sadness with andy. i don't think it's possible.
anyways. enough of my rambling. i'm not going to mention him again until he calls me...which could be some time.
well, it's time to do some laundry and locate some good food. updates of randomness will be provided in the near future...
"in my room, on a pad...was written a letter, return address to you. i have walked, over a mile...and under a stone wall, across the fields of snow. and i've been feeling so grand, oh no. tell me now who do you think i am. arrived there, tired and cold. delivered your letter, return address to you. this is the house. this is the road. here is my letter...where the heck are you? and i've been feeling so old, oh no. tell me now who do you think i am. lay down under the playground, hold up, i can't hold up for long. lay down under the playground, please don't bury me. lay down under the playground, hold up, i can't hold up for long. lay down under the playground, please don't bury me. in my room, on the fire...is burning a letter, return address to you. i had walked, over a mile...and under a stonewall, where the heck were you? and i've been feeling so grand, oh no. tell me now who do you think i am. it's just a, it's a little bit harder just to hold your hand...and around and around and around we go. tell me now who do you think i am. lay down under the playground, hold up, i can't hold up for long. lay down under the playground, please don't bury me. lay down under the playground, hold up, i can't hold up for long. lay down under the playground, please don't bury me. and i've been feeling so grand, oh no. tell me now who do you think i am. it's just a, it's a little bit harder just to hold your hand...and around and around and around we go. tell me now who do you think i am. in my room i'm so shocking. in my room i'm so very, very, shocking, shocking, shocking...lay down under the playground, hold up, i can't hold up for long. lay down under the playground, please don't bury me. lay down under the playground, hold up, i can't hold up for long. lay down under the playground, please don't bury me...please don't bury me...bury me...bury me...all these lies..." -for squirrels
