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18-01-2004 - 03:19

i can't wait for the new year. january 22. i think i'll have to do something for part of it.

one of the things i am going to do for the new year is confess. a long email confession. and i don't think it will be welcome, but being me, i can't not say something. it will just get worse if i don't say something.

well, fun fun things. aimee came over last night and we watched dvd's with ryan and beckie. then aimee and i went out to royal oak today and bought fun things. she bought joe his birthday gifts (which happened to consist of $114 of pez products). i ended up buying some rhinestone stuff and a belt.

so, aimee and joe have once again postponed their wedding. they're not sure when it's going to be. i just feel bad because they've been engaged for about 3 years. i know they're trying to save up money and such and joe's still going to college, but i know that aimee wants a date. she was hoping for may 2005 and he wants to wait.

saw bouncing souls on television yesterday...and they played my favourite song by them.

the best thing was thursday night. went out with a bunch of co-workers after work. intoxicated co-works are great.

takkun still hasn't contacted me. i don't think he will. sadness and dissapointment. oh well.

oh. the fiero's dead. battery decided that it wasn't going to work. granted it was encased in ice, but still...anyway. my car won't start, and i'm pretty sure it's the battery. i'm not sure if it's dead, or just frozen. it drove fine the other night, and then the next night...nothing. grrrrr......

odd night. not tired. slightly bored. (which is nothing new). but i'm not hungry. that's what's really odd. i am drinking strawberry crush though...out of a glass bottle. tasty and good.

something funny...aimee and i were going through my photo book and there's a photo of aimee, andy, and myself on move out day at the end of my 2nd year of college. we all look 12 in it.

one of the movies ryan and i watched tonight was "head over heels". yeah...cheesy, but i like it. there is a part of the movie that the main character is trying to convince herself that she doesn't like the guy/potential killer. she tries to talk herself out of it, but everything she says to talk herself out of it, makes everyone realize that she really does like the guy. i wonder if that's what i'm doing. by trying to talk myself out of it, i keep thinking of him even more. i just don't know when i became this. i have problems once i've started dating someone, but i've never really had a problem actually "getting" the guy. i'm not the type of person to be unsure of myself in something like this. i'm usually so confident and straight forward. and currently i am...unsure. i am unsure of everything when it comes to this situation. i don't mind chaos, but i don't like being unsure. now i'm sounding unhappy and dreary. but i'm not. i'm just not happy with my current situation.

i have to get up early tomorrow/today. parents coming out. they're bringing the jump-starty thing for my car. i feel bad. i really should treat it better. i have been brushing the snow off every day (except for today since i seem to have lost my scraper/brush thing).

well, i'm off to do something...anything but think of certain things...

"are you lonesome tonight? do you miss me tonight? are you sorry we drifted apart? does your memory stray to a bright summer day, when i kissed you and called you sweetheart? do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare? do you gaze at your doorstep, and picture me there? is your heart filled with pain, shall i come back again? tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight? is your heart filled with pain, shall i come back again? tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?" -frank sinatra



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