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19-02-2004 - 04:04

my work space. i don't have a desk. i just sit/recline on my bed (futon mattress on the ground) propped up with pillows and type on my laptop which litterally sits atop my lap. i have a table that could be a desk, but like my bed, is not far off the ground. it's about 1.5 feet off the ground. there really isn't any work space on it since i have various items set up on it.

right now i'm laying here in a black slip that i consider pajamas. recently showered, my hair is still has some clumps of curls that haven't dried yet. i actually bought some "expensive" shampoo and conditioner. by expensive, i mean more than two dollars. now my hair smells a bit like candy. i'm watching adult swim. drinking tea.

i'm tired, yet i've not attempted sleep. my toe hurts as i smashed it today causing slight injury. i was talking to someone today about eyesight. every once and a while i forget that i was legally blind for almost 21 years. things always come by and remind me of it though. last night andy mentioned something about his contacts. i'd forgotten that he wears them. it reminded me that i used to wear them and still couldn't quite see things clearly. ever once and a while i still wake up thinking i left my contacts in, but it happens less frequently than it did a year ago.

i'm wondering if i should cut my hair. i like having it long, but it just takes so long to dry.

i was feeling a bit ill for a while there, but i realize that it's from the half ton of candy i've eatten today. sometimes i'm amazed that my body still works after some of the things i put it through.

it's a bit cold in my room right now. my hands and feet tend to be cold quite often.

i want to travel more. even just weekend trips. i only have a little over $4,000 left on my student loan. then i will have more money to work with...unless the saturn requires even more work.

i saw a photo today of a star being sucked into a black hole. i find it interesting that with all of the power of a black hole, it only consumes about one percent of the star.

i wish it was a bit warmer. for some odd reason, i feel like going on a picnic. just a couple of friends, snacks, and a bottle of wine. i like night picnics the to see the stars and such.

"my heart is pumping for one reason. maybe it's my imagination, but it's true. it's all in your hands. i no longer have this on my shoulders. oh no, it must be something i said. love is another word for regret. you know, it must be part of my plan. it's never too late to understand. and i wanted it to be something more than just another run-around for me. and even though...i'm glad that i'm finally free. all that's left for my life is now up to me. and i walk around for days and i only see you in my dreams. wait for me like i've waited for you." -a new found glory



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