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12-03-2006 - 11:32

so. i phoned the ninja tonight. i'm not good at lack of communication. not good at communication. really good at miscommunication. but complete lack of bothers me. i left him a voicemail. after consulting with brian, he phoned me and we talked.

i am feeling a lot better now. some things were cleared up. new things formulated. it was nice to hear from him though. i wished i could have talked to him in person, but the phone was helpful. i knew that i either had to feel better or worse about things. i just needed to feel something different from what i was feeling. he said that he's going to call me on to me before i leave for vegas. and that we're going to talk in person the wednesday after i get back.

i have come to the conclusion that what we really had was one miscommunication/misunderstanding after another. there was one somewhere along the line, and i think everything tangented off of that. he also said that he never felt comfortable. i can understand that. after the first teresa incident, i did loose some trust with him. i think that that affected things a lot too. you really can't expect to feel comfortable in a relationship with someone who doesn't completely trust you.

so now, i am feeling better about things. i miss him more than anything. and i really want him to be happy. and since dating me was not making him happy, i guess...i just understand things a bit more. and i really do hope that we can get back together in the future...just on better terms...

" tell me where your skeleton's hiding. tell me all and i'll tell you. you think you have a real good fucking answer. a fucking answer i'll give you..." -goldfinger



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