12-03-2006 - 11:32
so. i phoned the ninja tonight. i'm not good at lack of communication. not good at communication. really good at miscommunication. but complete lack of bothers me. i left him a voicemail. after consulting with brian, he phoned me and we talked.
i am feeling a lot better now. some things were cleared up. new things formulated. it was nice to hear from him though. i wished i could have talked to him in person, but the phone was helpful. i knew that i either had to feel better or worse about things. i just needed to feel something different from what i was feeling. he said that he's going to call me on tuesday...talk to me before i leave for vegas. and that we're going to talk in person the wednesday after i get back.
i have come to the conclusion that what we really had was one miscommunication/misunderstanding after another. there was one somewhere along the line, and i think everything tangented off of that. he also said that he never felt comfortable. i can understand that. after the first teresa incident, i did loose some trust with him. i think that that affected things a lot too. you really can't expect to feel comfortable in a relationship with someone who doesn't completely trust you.
so now, i am feeling better about things. i miss him more than anything. and i really want him to be happy. and since dating me was not making him happy, i guess...i just understand things a bit more. and i really do hope that we can get back together in the future...just on better terms...
"...you tell me where your skeleton's hiding. tell me all and i'll tell you. you think you have a real good fucking answer. a fucking answer i'll give you..." -goldfinger