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30-03-15 - 12:43

should have been asleep earlier after a long work weekend and having to be up early, but i've not fallen asleep yet.

i was watching the t-drama again. almost through it. i love it so far. part of being a walking contradiction is that while i hate dating, i fall into that hopeless romantic category. last episode, a girl ends up falling for a guy that's liked her for a while because he surprises her and kisses her. so, for the posting today, i think i'll bring up some similar situations for me. good to have happy thoughts/memories before bed...

so, i'll start with iminous. i met him in wales at the hostle. he had run away with his best friend who was a female. her parents were trying to marry her off to someone so they picked up and left. i honestly don't remember why we were wrapped in towels in the hallway on the stairs talking, but i do remember when he suddenly kissed me. the hand on the side of my face to turn my head and then pulling me over to him. we were in public for the hostle area and some other people there started clapping. poor todd was crushed.

shawn. after my cousin died, not long after, we were out with some of his friends. one of them kept talking about my cousins old band and i had to get out of there. ended up walking out of ashley's in the rain and sitting on the steps of the church just a block down the street. sitting in the rain when shawn came up and kissed me.

jeff. we were friends. then one night after i was dropping him off at his place after we had gone out with friends, he leaned over and suddenly kissed me through the window of my car. this was even more of a feat as he's 6'7" and i was in my very low to the ground fiero.

other shawn. california. wasn't even a kiss. it was an almost kiss. teetering on that the entire night and nate kept stepping in. maybe a kiss than never happened, but i've had an on again and off again crush on him since.

the last real kiss i had was in october. last real anything really. while i'm not lonely, not by any means, i do notice that when my life lacks physical contact, i'm just more of a slacker. there really is something to all of the skin to skin chemicals. makes me wonder if i should have kissed dan after the orchestra event. i'm sure we could have had an interesting fling. maybe that's what i need right now. a minor fling. that or travel. or both. they tend to fall together most of the time. maybe if i wasn't spitting up blood in sedona, i might have kissed cupcake just to get in a small dose of physical contact. although, that would have likely decreased the odds of him ever wanting to travel with me again even more than i think i already have. not sure what i did, but i get the feeling that it was something.

right now my left knee hurts. i have a quarter sized bruise on the top of my knee. raised and super dark. hurts worse than any bruise i've sustained so far this year. it was a bad work weekend...

so, more positive before bed since i'll be dealing with so much negative later today.

some of the guys at work no longer consider me female. why is this good? we talk about things that are hilarious that they wouldn't talk about in front of females. these conversations and quotes are what get me through work lately.

it's spring and my eyes have been looking a lot more green lately. as always, i love my left eye. sounds weird, but tis true. with the three dark dots spread out in the same directions as the radiation symbols? just one of those cool things that's in plain sight but no one has noticed in years.

nick bought me a sherbert cup at work! how can sherbert not bring happiness?

i'm also planning my may trip. this will combine my love of mangroves and bio-luminescence, so already amazing.

i might also pop out tonight for a drink. maybe meet up with joe at the wintergarden. i like our dive bar visits.


"i've been running from it all my lifetime. there's nothing wrong with you, i'm searching for my right mind..." -awolnation



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